Fallen Through the Cracks

The last of my food supply

Right now, I’m debating whether or not to eat a box of macaroni and cheese.

I’m not debating whether I should eat it versus something else which would be decidedly more nutritious. I’m debating whether or not I should eat it, or go hungry another day. You see, I only have three boxes of macaroni and cheese left to my name. I have no other food in my apartment, and I currently have $9 left in my bank account. My Internet and mobile phone were turned off at the beginning of January, and my gas will probably be turned off in the next month. My electricity will eventually follow suit. The only reason I still have an apartment is because of the charity of family, however their finances are stretched too thin with almost half a million dollars in medical debt, and the costs associated with caring for an elderly matriarch in the last months of her life. The only way I am able to receive calls from potential employers is through an old flip phone loaned to me by a family member while I look for work. I’ve been living off macaroni and cheese since January, eating a box every second day in order to stretch what meager funds I had as far as they would last.

You may be asking, “But, Ashe, weren’t you in college? Did you ever graduate?” The answer is, yes. I graduated from NC State University in December 2012. I earned a Bachelor of Arts in Psychology, and had a 3.44/4.00 Cumulative GPA, as well as a 3.75/4.00 Major GPA. It says so, right on my resume. I spent two years doing research for the Good Doctor, although, to be fair, that last semester I really slacked off since I had a small bout of depression, later followed by fear and anxiety associated with not having a job waiting for me when I graduated. My slacking showed, as the Good Doctor only gave me a B for the last semester in his lab, where previously I had made A’s. I really feel bad about that, and I feel that I left things off with him on a sour note, as a result.

While I did attempt to apply to graduate school, finances dictated that I could only afford to apply to one school, NC State. As anyone who has applied to graduate schools can tell you, it is not a good idea to place all of your hopes into one university. Unfortunately, I was a little too vague on my application when explaining what I wanted my research focus to be, and was rejected despite what one of the professors reviewing my application said were very good GPA and GRE scores.

The problem, as I see it, is that I am a bit afraid to tell any professor about my true goals for research. Ever since returning to college, I have had a dream of doing research which would lead to the creation of an artificial intelligence, which would reside on any mobile device, computer, or perhaps even a web-enabled television, that would be used mainly for the treatment of depression, anxiety, and some mild addiction disorders. Several problems get in the way of this research. One, I have no engineering or computer programming background, so I would not be creating the actual programming code, myself. Two, there is very little research in the psychological journals pertaining to the use of artificial intelligence, as it seems that psychologists have mostly ceded control over this area to the engineering field. And, three, since there aren’t any psychologists currently doing research into the use of artificial intelligence as a treatment for depression, there aren’t any researchers whose labs I can apply to work in as a graduate student. At NC State, we have an engineering department with faculty and students who would be of great use in the actual construction of the AI, but the closest thing to a psychologist who fits my needs focuses his research on studying the cognitive effects of playing video games in adults and the elderly. For my purposes, as one who has played video games since I was four years old, I see parallels between using AI for improving the cognitive and emotional well-being of adults with depression, and using video games, which are little more than graphical AIs which respond to player input, as a way of improving the cognitive functioning of older adults.

This Shit's Got to Stop Right the Fuck Now!

Birth control is a GOOD thing!

Over the last couple of weeks, Republicans have been driving me, and anyone else with a functioning vagina or penis, batshit fucking insane! I was content to mostly ignore this sudden rampage against women's access to birth control until someone I follow on Twitter referenced this article about New Hanover, NC county commissioners rejecting funds for local family planning services. Once this crap starts happening in my home state, I have to speak up.

Now, understand that I'm about to make my case in a perhaps inappropriate way, with details which you probably don't want to read, but I have to get this out into the open. I'm not sure exactly who Republicans think they are controlling, punishing, or otherwise dictating, but you would think that people who have fucked as many individuals who AREN'T their wives while still espousing "family values" would understand that women are made for more than just birthing babies! In fact, these despicable Randian Conservatives who "don't want to have to take care of" other people should love giving out free birth control on every street corner, as there would then be fewer people around to need taking care of.

Now, depending on the type of birth control, and to what amount a woman's insurance may or may not cover the birth control, a year's worth of birth control can cost as much as $1000 a year, not including the medical consultations required by the doctors who must act as gatekeepers for the birth control. If a woman is living on the edge, financially, this cost can be too much to bear. Even for a woman who is living a relatively comfortable middle-class life this expense can put a stress on her financial situation. The Conservative argument is that if they think they can't afford it then these women should keep their legs closed, as one of these brilliant luminaries recently suggested that women should use a Bayer aspirin as birth control by holding it between their knees!

Time Management

Taking time for lunch outside

This semester is really testing me in ways I haven't been before.

I've posted in the past about my habit of procrastination. Often I find that I work better under the pressure that procrastinating provides. Over the last few weeks, however, that has not been the case, at all. With the homework needed to stay on top of my Intermediate French and Finite Math courses, the 10+ hours of research work for The Doctor each week, as well as the reading for Cognitive Psychology and Behavioral Research, I am really being asked to accomplish more in a limited amount of time that I am accustomed. For ten years at the radio station, I essentially had 10 hours of work to get done in 40 hours a week, with the remainder of my time spent being on alert in case something went horribly wrong.

The thing is, I really enjoy my downtime. I like being able to have time to read Internet forums, watch The Young Turks on YouTube, read political blogs, watch the occasional documentary on Netflix. While I find that keeping up with politics is stressful, it is stressful in a way that I find fun. Having to constantly do work to maintain my grades is stressful, but not in a way that I find especially fun. The problem is that there is a specific goal in mind with regard to the school work. I HAVE TO make good grades. I don't have to know that President Obama's ridiculous "jobs" plan consists of 56% tax cuts for corporations.

Of course, procrastinating wouldn't be as big of a problem for me if I would actually do all the things I need to do. As I put things off, the stack of things I need to do constantly gets bigger, increasing the pressure until I worry that I might explode. And the work for The Doctor is a particular beast for me, because I hate the feeling that I am letting someone else down. If I make a C in French it doesn't hurt me, emotionally, as much as knowing that I'm slowing someone else down or preventing them from accomplishing their tasks in an efficient manner. That's why I was never meant for customer service. I despise slowing other people down.

Unethical Hypocrisy: Politics

As I mentioned in the introduction to this series of discussions, hypocrisy is a scourge on our society because it withers away our faith in our most vital public and private social institutions. In order to function in a way which serves the needs of the general public, politics relies on all individuals involved being committed to the causes which they claimed to support during their election processes. When elected officials choose to take actions which run contrary to their previously stated goals it leaves their voting constituents with feelings of powerlessness, anger, and regret. Furthermore, acts of political hypocrisy can have a damaging effect on society, and the world at large, since hypocrisy tends to favor the status quo. And it is exactly the status quo which the electorate seeks to challenge each time they venture to the polls.

For at least as long as I have been alive, Republicans have claimed to hold control over the issue of "family values" in the US. Conservatives have lauded their support for Christianity, the sanctity of marriage, and the pro-life agenda among their many claims that they are pro-family. However, it could be effectively argued that Republican support of large corporations and unregulated free market Capitalism seems to run counter to their alleged support of family values. As an example, prior to the government establishing strict labor laws it was not uncommon for workers in corporate factories to work twelve hour shifts which left very little time for parents to spend with their families. If Conservatives had their way in deregulating businesses, it would not be unexpected to one day see a return to the twelve hour work day. Already, corporations tacitly expect employees to work 50-60 hour work weeks (thanks largely to employee downsizing) despite being salaried for only 40 hours per week.

Unethical Hypocrisy: Introduction

Welcome to the new update of my site. While I have been writing since my last regular posting, I haven't gotten around to publishing to the blog. I wanted to give the site an updated look, and get back into the swing of regular writing and posting, so I thought I would kick things off with a topic that is a significant irritant to me, hypocrisy.

Last spring, while taking a course in Ethics, I chose to write a paper debating whether or not hypocrisy could be seen as ethical or unethical. I came firmly down on the side that hypocrisy is always unethical in every situation. However, while writing the paper I was constrained by length limitations and was, therefore, unable to elaborate on many areas which I thought would help drive my point forward. It is now my intention to flesh out those arguments in a more complete (though perhaps less formal) fashion over the next few weeks.

To begin the discussion, I am posting the full text of my Ethics paper (with parenthetical citations) from last spring. I hope you will find it interesting, as I plan to go deeper into the nature of hypocrisy as related to politics, religion, and personal relationships. Please feel free to leave comments, and I may try to address any intellectual arguments presented in the future updates.

I hope you enjoy this short series. I will get back to my usual social blogging once school starts back up on August 16th.

Health Reform Even a Conservative Should Love

This week my friend Osterberg, a hopeless Conservative, engaged me in a debate on healthcare. For his part, the argument against healthcare reform surrounds the issue of who should pay for it. Naturally, he resents the rich being made to pay higher taxes to support Obama's healthcare plan.

I'm not sure why Conservatives are such selfish bastards, especially since their Christian Bible says that it's harder for a rich man to get to Heaven than for a camel to get through the eye of a needle. Perhaps their Bible doesn't say that, but I'm pretty sure that the Jesus in their Bible never charged money to heal the sick. And since Conservatives are fond of pretending that the US is a Christian nation, why can't they see the value of government curing the sick for free? It's sad when increasingly atheistic European nations actually promote so-called Christian values like caring for the sick and the poor more readily than the US!

With regard to the money question, why can't Conservatives see that, even with higher taxes, they will actually make more money in the long run if the US has a Single Payer Health Insurance System (which ISN'T what Obama is working toward, but which is easier for me to argue the case for than that twisted clusterfuck of a program he IS promoting)? Currently, health insurance is a costly burden for companies to provide for employees. Small businesses often forego offering it at all. Even Wal-Mart has been criticized for not providing health insurance to more of its workers, instead encouraging them to use Medicaid. Several years ago, the head of General Motors said the company spent more on healthcare than on steel for its cars! And a major reason that US manufacturing jobs have moved to Canada and Mexico is because those nations provide free healthcare for all their citizens. If the US provided Single Payer healthcare for all, then companies would save untold billions of dollars every year. And, since Conservative CEOs are selfish pricks you can bet that alot of those extra savings would go right into their wallets. Of course, it would also save more US jobs, as well, since companies would have less cause to move elsewhere.

But, would Single Payer Healthcare benefit Osterberg financially? Well, yes. Aside from the obvious savings his family would glean from using the system, his wife happens to be a dentist. There are currently around 50 million uninsured people in the US. Some of them most certainly live in Osterberg's town. If they were to suddenly be covered by a Single Payer System there would be more people seeking dental care. That means more clients for Osterberg's wife which means more money for his family. And, of course, I have no idea if her practice provides health coverage for her employees, but, again, Single Payer would save her business money if that is the case.

There is NO logical rationale for opposing a Single Payer System. Even after taxes, opponents (and of course US society at large) stand to gain more than they would lose in the long run. If only the Conservatives would stop reading the Book of Genesis long enough to see that for themselves!

Have fun and keep living life... and tell your Senators and Congressmen that you want Single Payer Now!

Admitting Past Mistakes

Why does it seem as though Conservatives think apologizing is a bad thing to do? I'm being honest. I don't get it. For the last 20 years I've heard Conservatives repeatedly us the term "apologist" as though it were a derisive word. And again, today, Conservatives jumped all over President Obama's back for giving a speech in Cairo aimed at easing tensions between America and the Middle East. In the speech, Obama acknowledged five or six areas where the US has failed in the past to be sensitive to the sovereignty of nations in the Muslim world. Naturally, Conservatives stopped there and threw up their fists like children, screaming, "How dare he apologize to Muslims!" Well, let's face it, what choice did Obama have? It's not like any Republican would ever apologize for anything!

Of course, in their zealous diatribe the GOP-ers totally missed the fact that the President also called out Muslims for civil rights abuses against women and children, being too willing to allow violence against innocents as a form of political protest, not recognizing the sovereignty of Israel, and holding mock elections under the guise of democracy. I guess calling out the neighbors in their own house isn't enough to trump the weak kneed apology of a coward who may be in collusion with Muslims... that is, if he isn't one himself!

The thing is, I get the impression that Conservatives honestly believe apologizing for past mistakes is somehow a show of weakness. And, in their eyes, the US is the greatest nation in the world and should, therefore, NEVER show weakness! But think back to when you were in high school. Who thought they were the baddest motherfuckers in the room and refused to show any contrition whatsoever? It wasn't the popular kids, nor the smart kids, nor the drama geeks, band geeks, emo kids, or the losers. No... It was the bullies!

You don't even have to think back to high school. In your job right now everyone is working for the same reason -- to get paid and go home. But there's ALWAYS that one person who makes everyone else miserable by being disrespectful and invading their workspace. Does this person ever apologize? Of course not! Why? Because they're an asshole, that's why!

Don't get me wrong. I love being in America. But we do tend toward being the assholes of the global office space a little too often. And while we will probably never get EVERYONE else to join us in that drunken rendition of "The Twelve Days of Christmahannukwanzaakuh" we're so fond of at this year's holiday party, with a little contrition every now and then we might actually get an invite to the formerly "secret" after party party at the club for once! And who knows... We might even get lucky and see the hot Persian chick from Accounting and the cute Jewish chick from IT settle that nasty border dispute over their Gaza Strips!

Okay... Maybe that was a little too A-holey! Sorry.

Have fun and keep living life... or some approximation thereof.

Two Steps Back

I've mentioned before that I believe that the US took a significant step forward by electing Barack Obama as President. However, I would argue that this week we took two steps backward regarding the torture debate.

First, let me come right out and say that I am absolutely against torture (my fantasies of Dick Cheney, jumper cables, and a waterboard notwithstanding). Now, I watch 24 and I get how useful it is as a storytelling device. But just like clicking my ruby slippers together won't actually transport me back home from the mystical land of Oz, torture doesn't work as a method for interrogation. It is effective as a tool for vengeance, but that's a big reason why it shouldn't be used. Even if it did work as an interrogation method, committing an act of violence to prevent a possible act of violence is an immoral act, something conservatives of this nation don't seem to understand no matter how many times they are reminded that Jesus allowed himself to be tortured to death for the sins of the world rather than fight back in self-defense. But what do I know... I'm just an agnostic who was required to study the Bible from front to back while attending a religious college.

Having said that, I wish Obama had not backed down like a little bitch about releasing those torture photos. On his first day in office, President Obama pledged openness in his administration. Now, he shows a willingness to cave under pressure from the largely irrelevant and immoral Republicans while trying to hide behind "protecting the troops", a tired retread of an excuse from the Bush days. Secrecy almost never serves the greater good. And generally if you must hide the truth in order to "protect" someone or something, the only thing being protected is your own self-interest. And anything you'll need to hide tomorrow typically isn't worth doing today.

Which brings me to Nancy Pelosi. While I'm inclined to believe that the CIA may have lied to her about the use of torture (after all, how can you trust an agency which is paid to lie to people for a living?), I'm also inclined to believe that Speaker Pelosi is just trying to cover her own worthless ass! She, and the rest of the Democrats in Washington, didn't have the balls to stand up to Bush and Cheney when it mattered and now, as her reward for cowardice, she must back pedal like a juggling unicyclist on a tightrope!

America likes to pretend it is some shining beacon on a hill. In reality, America is nothing more than a degraded crackhouse in a ghetto. How can it be any more than that when conservatives pretend piety while promoting ideals like torture (ie., revenge) which are antithetical to the values of Christ, while liberals promote intellectual truth, equality, and dignity for all but lack the personal strength to stand up for those values when the political winds seem to be blowing against them?

I still believe in that hope that Barack Obama was peddling during the election season. But now I have to have hope that he will eventually learn to stand up for what I believe.

Have fun and keep living life... or some approximation thereof.

Toppling the Pins

A few weeks after I began bowling with Chris and his friends, Joe began bringing along a friend of his named Elizabeth. It should be noted that Joe is not dating Elizabeth, nor will he every get a chance to date her. That said, he is as protective of her as though he were pounding her nightly and twice on Saturday!

Elizabeth is a 22 year old, petite, sandy haired girl with glasses, a cute ass, small perky breasts which she plans to enlarge over the summer, and a thick nasally back country accent that makes you want to stuff a ball gag in her mouth to save your ears from the shrill. And, in case you were wondering, sure, I'd like to have sex with her.

You may already be seeing where this is headed, but let me add that Elizabeth is also into law enforcement, guns, country music, trucks, and really shitty action movies. Translation: She's likely a hard core conservative. And, while I did have a one-night stand with a conservative once, I have no desire to have a romantic relationship with anyone who can't appreciate Barack Obama for the delicious ebony god-among-men that he truly is!

Unfortunately (isn't there always an "unfortunately" in my stories?), because she's cute and conservative, I enjoy doing little things (flicking her ponytail or making lewd comments) to annoy her. Think of it like the boy in third grade who picks on the girl he has a crush on. Sure, its immature and stupid, but then so was voting for the McCain/Palin ticket! Here's where the problem developed: Rather than coming to me and telling me to stop, Elizabeth decided to complain to Joe and Chris. Of course, for Chris' part he couldn't care less but it creates a situation of divided loyalties. To make things easier for Chris, I agreed to sit out on bowling next week and let things cool down a bit.

I don't understand why I get so much joy out of antagonizing people. It isn't as though it serves a functional purpose; invariably it alienates me from people I enjoy being around. And it isn't like I can't be friends with people I disagree with. Some of the people I like the most are people who never cease to annoy me!

Sometimes I think of what I do as an initiation rite. The people I call friends are the ones who went through the antagonism and chose to stick around in spite of it. They are people I can respect because they have proven that they aren't two-dimensional and they don't see me as two-dimensional. For me to consider you a friend means you've successfully entered a pretty exclusive club.

Still... Club enrollment is down these days. Perhaps I should consider lowering the entrance requirements a little bit.

Have fun, and keep living life... Or some approximation thereof.

Proud to Be an American... Kind Of

I stayed up all night watching the election coverage on MSNBC.com. In case you've been in a cave in Afghanistan for the last week, Barack Obama is our 44th President of the United States of America! It even looks as though North Carolina will go for Obama by around 13,000 votes. Unfortunately, that is a far smaller margin that Bev Perdue's victory for the governorship, or Kay Hagan's senatorial victory over Elizabeth Dole. That means that alot of democratic voters in my state either chose McCain for President or simply abstained from voting for President, all together.

This really pisses me off! I suppose I expected that North Carolina had come farther than it really has with regard to race. Don't get me wrong: I'm no paragon of racial equality. I still get nervous if I'm surrounded by blacks on a Saturday night at Waffle House. And I'm still prone to call a black person "nigger" under my breath if they cut me off in traffic or come to a stoplight with their car stereo blasting so loud that MY car shakes.

Barack Obama, though, is so much greater than that. He exemplifies the very best that America has to offer, regardless of race or gender. Obama inspires our brightest angels rather than appealing to our darkest demons. He makes people want to be their best. This is what I've been wanting out of a leader my entire life. But now that we finally have that, I can't enjoy it fully thanks to all the damn rednecks!

I found out that my friends from algebra class voted for McCain. That's not what bothered me. The fact that they used words like terrorist and Muslim to describe Barack Obama, and claimed that he would work against Israel is what bothered me. I expected better of them. This sort of thing makes them seem less intelligent and less informed than I would have thought. I know it is elitist of me to say this, but I guess I expect better of anyone who is going to college. Still, they are both freshman, so perhaps they will learn with time, but I somehow doubt it.

I've never been more proud of America than I am now that Obama is our President-elect, but I'm not nearly as proud of America as I would like to be. Until we figure out a way to exorcise ourselves of those for whom racial stereotypes of ALL varieties are borne, I fear that we will always be held back as a society. We are capable of so much more than what history has given witness. At least, that's what I'd like to think.

Have fun, and keep living life... It's getting better all the time!

Just Call Me The Procrastination Sensation!!!

I swear to God I have like four or five blog posts just sitting in my notebook waiting to be transcribed. I'll get to them soon, I PROMISE! I'll back date them, so I'm not sure how Blogger is going to handle that, if they'll post before or after this, but you're smart, you'll figure it out! Until then:

GO VOTE ON NOVEMBER 4th!

And while I would certainly prefer that you vote for Obama, just get your ass to the polls and do your civic duty! Don't pretend that you give a damn about America if you're just going to sit at home and masturbate on Election Day, pulling on your own lever instead of the one that will actually communicate your choice for the nation!

In the mean time... Here's a LOL Cat:

The Power of Positive Speaking... Or Something Like That

Yesterday morning I woke up and, for some reason, started to realize why people in the past have referred to me as a "negative" person. People used to tell me all the time how depressing it was to be around me. Of course, back then I would blame them for not telling me this sooner so I could try to change my behavior around them. Hopefully, I'm little better than that now, but I still seem to have this tendency to say negative things. I'll say positive things, as well, but it seems they are typically prefaced by a negative comment. For example, in a discussion about favorite music I might respond to someones preference for country artist Travis Tritt with, "Oh, I don't like Travis Tritt! I've always liked Depeche Mode." And, sometimes I accidentally say things like this in a way that comes off as condescending or just belittling. People don't like this and eventually turn away from me. I probably would have kept a few more friends down through the years if instead of prefacing my comments with a negative, I just spoke the positive comment, "Oh, okay. I've always liked Depeche Mode."

While trying to do a little research for this post I came across a web page for the book The Positive Power of Negative Thinking, by Julie Norem, Ph.D. On the web page for the book there is a description of what the author refers to as "defensive pessimism". According to Dr. Norem, defensive pessimism is sort of a learned coping mechanism where people will think of all the negative things which could possibly happen so that, if the bottom falls out of their plans, they don't get overly anxious about the outcome. According to the little quiz on the website, I qualify as a defensive pessimist, however I'd have to say that for every situation that it helps me cope with, there is another situation where it ends up getting in my way.

For negativity to be more effective than ineffective you have to pick and choose when to use it. It can't be a broad spectrum tactic because, as I eluded to earlier, negativity pushes people away. People don't want to hang around someone who essentially belittles their favorite things. People don't want to be around someone who can't immediately identify where they want to go hang out without giving an extensive list of where they don't want to hang out. And they don't want to have a romantic relationship with someone who is always expecting the worst, and broadcasting those expectations, out of every situation.

This loosely relates to why Hillary Clinton lost the Democratic nomination in early summer. I'm not saying she was inherently negative... that's for more experienced political analysts to judge. However, negative people tend to be very self-centered people. After all, their worries are not about "you" they are about "me". They don't have time to care about what will happen to you, they only have concern for what will happen to themselves. Some will disagree with this assessment, I'm sure, but I've always believed that Hillary Clinton lost because she preferred the words "I" and "Me" where Barack Obama preferred the use of "You" and "We". Her speeches were always filled with "I've done this, I've worked for that, Vote for Me and I'll do this for You." In this context, You is a positive, because people like to hear about themselves, and I or Me are negatives because the speaker is spending more time talking about themselves. So, as Obama once said in a debate, Hillary Clinton was "likable enough", but just not.

So, if you're looking for ways to attract or maintain more friendships and relationships it may serve you well to watch your language. Who knows, it might even make you President one day.

Have fun, and keep living life... or some approximation thereof!

And the Winner Is...

No one. I just finished watching the first Presidential Debate between Barack Obama and John McCain. Now, even though I've admitted to being in the tank for Obama, I'd have to say that neither candidate really knocked this debate out of the park. It was a rather sedate affair to be honest, with the only major sparring match being over whether or not Dr. Henry Kissinger, a McCain advisor, said that the US should meet with Iran without preconditions, a position supported by Obama but not by McCain. (By the way, according to the Associated Press, Obama was correct that Kissinger supported talks with Iran without preconditions, although Kissinger felt these talks should be conducted with lower level diplomats prior to meetings between the actual leaders of the US and Iran.)

During the debate, McCain was fairly condescending toward Obama. McCain often used the phrase "What Senator Obama doesn't understand is..." or some derivation. He also avoided looking at Obama for practically the entire debate. Meanwhile, Obama would divide his time between looking into the camera and looking at McCain, who always seemed to have this punkish smile on his face, as though he were secretly thinking, "Whatever, douchebag!" Of course there were the typical mischaracterizations of each other's records which have become such a staple of American politics. McCain had his deceptive mantra that Obama is against nuclear energy, which is easily verifiable as false. Obama's only issue with nuclear power is what to do with the used fuel rods.

I was surprised that neither candidate seemed to have any real zingers, though they could be saving them for the last debate, which is only a week or two before Election Day. I think I would have liked a bit more aggression from Obama, although since McCain had to prove that he isn't an impetuous hothead I suppose it wouldn't have served Obama to make himself look like a hothead.

Many of the reviews of the debate online gave Obama a slight edge in the debate, if for no other reason than he came into the debate with a 5-10 point lead in the polls and this event probably didn't push the needle in either direction. I certainly agree with the second point if not the first. If you were an Obama fan going in, you're still an Obama fan; if you were a McCain fan going in, you're still a McCain fan. This debate changed nothing. However, since many in the country are only just waking up to the Presidential race, this debate proved a good neutral introduction to both candidates. With only 39 days left before November 4th, this race looks to be another photo finish. It will be exciting to see if either of these candidates can really pull ahead and win this thing cleanly, or if one side will win simply because the other side makes a mistake.

Have fun, and keep living life... and get yourself registered to vote!

The Great Debate

I'm holding off on posting this afternoon because I'm interested in watching the debate this evening between Barack Obama and John McCain. Even though I've already made up my mind to vote for Obama, I'm still willing to at least hear McCain out on the issues.

I think we should all strive to be informed about our political system, and that we should all vote. People toss the word patriotism around like its some sort of currency, as though the more you have the better you are. But flag waving and unquestioningly supporting war are not by themselves patriotic acts. One of the greatest freedoms brought to us by the Western World (actually the ancient Greeks, specifically) was the opportunity to vote. And if you want to truly show your patriotism screw the flag lapel pins and get yourself to a TV, computer, or newspaper, and find out what the candidates running for elected office want to do about the issues which affect your lives, then vote for the one who supports the ideas that are important to you.

All working Americans are required to pay taxes. I think we should all be required to vote, as well. It is bordering on disgusting that our ancestors fought and died in the Revolutionary War, and have continued to fight on through the World Wars, to provide for us the right to vote and only around 50% of the people who are eligible actually do so. THAT is what patriotism is all about. The flag is a worthless symbol. The Pledge of Allegiance is nothing more than collective indoctrination. Show that you actually love this country by giving back to it through your votes, and through your commitment to make our nation better on a regular basis. Instead of mindlessly chanting "USA! USA!" or "WE'RE NUMBER ONE!" how about you work hard, and elect the right people, to make us number one at something besides obesity, incarcerations, infant mortality, military spending, and violent crime.

Our country is rotting. Elections give us an opportunity to set a new path, to chart new opportunities, and make our country greater than what it has been. Voting gives all of us a voice in our nation's history. We can choose to move forward, or we can choose to hold ourselves back. The choice is yours... So long as you are actually willing to step up to the plate and make a choice.

Hmm... Didn't really mean to go off on a rant like that, but hopefully it was informative. I'll try to come back and post some thoughts about the debate, so long as I can get to see it online somewhere.

Have fun, and keep living life... or some approximation thereof!

The Magic of Hope

This is probably where I lose the attention of the conservatives. Just bare with me for a moment. I LOVE Barack Obama. Granted, he has lost some of his luster since the early days when even I mistook him for the second coming of Christ. But still, he's an impressive man with a fascinating background, beautiful family, superior intellect, and reflective demeanor.

But this isn't really about Obama. At least not directly. I'm curious about our fascination with hope. Of course, hope has always been an overarching theme of Obama's campaign, but he certainly wasn't the first, or the last. Bill Clinton and Mike Huckabee both proclaimed themselves the men from Hope (Arkansas). Ronald Reagan's famous "Morning in America" ad was basically about hope. In pop culture, Star Wars: Episode IV is titled "A New Hope". A Google search for "Hope" returned 83,100,000 results. There's the movie Hope Floats, the old soap opera Ryan's Hope, the Hope Diamond, an incredibly large number of organizations use HOPE as an acronym or part of a 1-800 phone number, and even the Olivia Newton-John song "Hopelessly Devoted to You"!

So why? Hope implies that there's something wrong with the way things are now. Just looking at references to hope from the last 50 years you'd have to conclude that something is perpetually wrong with the world (or at least the US). Since the word hope appears in the Bible between 120 and 160 times depending on the translation I'm guessing that humanity's want for hope extends at least a few thousand years.

I would describe my first 32 years of life as definitively without hope. I hated the world and was sure it hated me back. Relationships would never last very long. I had a bunch of dead end jobs. By a rough calculation I'd estimate I had thoughts of suicide on around 10,000 separate moments. I seriously considered acting on the thoughts at least two dozen times, and I've had to resist the sudden urge to jerk my car into a concrete divider or oncoming traffic perhaps a hundred times. For some reason I never commited suicide. And I guess that reason was hope. No matter how horrible my life got I always had this dream that things could get better if I just lived long enough to see it happen. Well, that's not completely true, but you'd think I was nuts if I told you what I really was thinking. Suffice it to say, it had something to do with Einstein's theory of infinite universes.

So, I think hope is that thing which keeps us alive. Without a hope that things will get better we'd probably kill ourselves or the people around us. And the thing is, hope isn't that hard to find. Some people find it through religion, others through science, or, in my case, through my imagination. If your life is without hope don't give up. Keep looking until you find what it is you need to see you through. Start thinking of life as a game: You win if you survive long enough to beat it. And, as long as you're alive, that thing which will bring you hope is out there waiting for you to find it, even if sometimes that thing ends up feeling like a kick to the face.

Have fun, and keep living life... because it's the only way to win!