Friday, March 20, 2009

Marching in Place

March has been one of those months where things happen but nothing really moves forward. Odd, considering that the month is called "march".

Earlier this month I had tests again in my classes. I made an 80 (B) in Philosophy, an 86 (B) in Human Development, and a 72 (C) in Environmental Geology. I could have done better in Environmental, but I didn't keep up with the reading as well as I should have. This past week has been Spring Break, although I didn't do anything except stay at home and sleep at odd hours. Next week I need to work on papers as I have a five page paper due in both Human Development and Philosophy, and a two page paper due in Environmental Geology.

While practicing saber spins with my newest lightsaber I accidentally dropped it in such a way that the end cap came off and the battery pack slipped out and broke. Now, since the damage was my fault, I'm going to have to buy a new battery pack and learn how to solder the wiring so I can replace the broken one. Fortunately, a new battery pack only costs a couple bucks, and a new soldering iron less than $20. Still, it beats the shipping costs of sending the saber back in and paying for the repair.

I haven't mentioned my financial experiment because, much like this month, it hasn't gone anywhere. Thanks to the topsy turvy market over the last few weeks I've managed to lose $1000 and make almost all of it back, all without buying or selling stocks once!

The incident with Elizabeth helped to reinforce an idea which has been brewing inside me for about a year, namely that I need to find other 30-somethings to hang out with. I haven't enjoyed swing dancing for months because the crowd has been leaning more toward a 50-something age range over the last year. And, as much as I'd like to, I'll never really fit in with college aged kids who, on some level, see me as the "creepy old guy"!

The reason I sat at home and did nothing this past week is that I didn't feel as though I had anyone to do anything with. The friends who are my age, whom I relate to, are all living in Florida, Georgia, or California. In a way, for all the ways in which my life has progressed over the last few years, I'm still in the exact same position as I was the day I first met Ex. It's as though I've been marching in place the whole time. The only difference is I'm less likely to have a scowl on my face as I do it.

I feel like I've fallen through the cracks socially. In high school I felt more comfortable around teachers than around kids my own age. Then, I eventually fell off the face of the Earth for ten years as I chose to lock myself in the dungeon of the radio station. Now that I'm finally free I have no idea where or when to go to meet people my own age.

They say that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. For me, at least, as I reflect on my situation, I'd have to say it's the other way around.

Have fun and keep living life... or some approximation thereof.

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