Wednesday, September 17, 2008

The Perfect Wedding

While doing a little research for this blog I stumbled onto another blog which struck me as a surprise, initially. It's called "An Approximation Thereof" and so far is following a young Pennsylvania Gen Xer's path to marriage. Coincidentally, it was begun exactly one week prior to my first blog posting. I have a permanent link in the sidebar (labeled Coincidental Kindred Thinker) for anyone who wants to check it out.

One post in particular spurred me to thinking about my own thoughts of what a perfect wedding should look like. Upfront, I should mention a few things:

  1. I've known for years what my idea of the perfect wedding is, even down to color schemes dependant on season, although I have no color scheme for summer since I don't personally think anyone in the South is in their right mind to get married when it is 95 degrees outside! Your guests are going to be wearing formal attire, and you will either be wearing a full rented tuxedo or a luxurious gown that you, or your parents, took out a second mortgage just to buy. You shouldn't make people sweat more than they have to, and nothing will ruin memories of your perfect day like indelible pit stains on that dress that once made you look like the beautiful princess that you really are! And, no, it doesn't matter that we now have air conditioning. People are going to have to be outside eventually.

  2. Yes, I am a man. I say that only because when I have conversations with friends or acquaintances about this topic they point, stare, laugh, and make jokes at the expense of my masculinity! My fantasies about the perfect wedding are not just for my benefit. Women tend to want their wedding to be THEIR perfect day. Well, why can't it be OUR perfect day. I WANT my wife to look like the beautiful princess that she is, but I also want to look like the handsome prince that I can be. And we should set our perfect day in a spectacular wonderland of grace and pomposity appropriate to the occassion at hand.

  3. Yes, I know the grandeur of the wedding has no real bearing on the eventual quality of the marriage. Look, my grandmother got married to my grandfather (whom I never met and have always referred to by his first name, Harold, so saying he was my grandfather seems slightly ackward) by a Justice of the Peace during one of Harold's furloughs from WWII, the last great noble war. They loved each other deeply for around 20 years before Harold died in the 1960s.

  4. To the abject horror of every woman I've ever told this to, I even have thoughts on what makes for the perfect wedding dress. I've been to too many weddings, or been forced to watch wedding videos, or look at photo albums, and have seen too many overly ornate, overly tight, impractically long, uncomfortably Victorian-style dresses! Please understand this: WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Even the ugly ones have something attractive about them. (Men, on the other hand... If we don't have a chisled body like Michaelangelo's David, we can pretty much hang it up 'cause we're destined for a life of ill-fitting jeans and loose flannel shirts.) So, please, don't buy a dress that distracts from your own inherent beauty. There's a reason chefs put gorgeous looking food on a white plate; there's a reason photographer's mount phenomenal pictures in a simple frame with a white matte. We should look at the ART, not the frame. Ladies, never forget... YOU are the art! The dress is but a frame. I'm not going to marry the frame; I'm going to marry the art. And that's what I, and everyone else, should be looking at on OUR perfect day.

Have fun, and keep living life... or some approximation thereof!

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